Self-Preservation and Free Will

Offred admits in the beginning of her self-called "story" that it is a reconstruction of herself. She does it to stay alive, and her belief in multiple realities delineates not ultimate confusion but her desire to stay alive, rationalizing that "those who don't do not last long." Later she refers to Luke as having been her love, later castigating herself for this momentary lack of faith in both him and her own survival. She is therefore bound to certain edicts and plays in the game of Life. In her search for companionship, she turns to Nick in a sort of compulsion, settling for even one she does not love but invariably turning to him all the same. For her, it is not a choice but an act of God. She treads the line between fatalism and hope.